Something that I became aware of today is that, if you focus on your big priorities, all of the little things will settle. Ryuho Okawa said “just let go of the smaller things. You will find that your heart feels much lighter. I believe that living with simplicity and grace is a truly wise way to live.” We all hit boundaries that we must overcome in order to progress in life, and we cannot get caught up in minute detail or irrelevant subject matter. For example, at the moment, I cannot walk. With that being said, I am not concerned with material matters, traveling, dating, I do not prioritize any of that at this particular moment. All of my mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional power that could be used to worry about the future, I immediately harness that energy for healing and growth. At the end of the day, walking or not, all of the small things will settle itself allowing me to focus on bigger priorities.
As of the moment that I am writing this, our lives are being consumed with this Coronavirus hysteria, my sister is plagued by verbal attacks and turmoil manufactured by her in-laws, and I have many qualms of my own. There are so many dynamics of life and it is important to accept the things that we cannot change, let it go, and move on. Additionally, it is important to be mindful of your truths and beliefs instead of appealing to the attitudes, or values of the masses. For example, many people growing up tried making their problems my problem and I had finally learned that I needed to detach from the feelings, and problems of others and focus on my own priorities because being the recipient of fallacious emotions subjected me to manipulation. Detachment does not mean to live in denial or lack empathy, it means to no longer allowing yourself to be enrolled in the mindless games and nonsense that people bring into your life. With that said, Aditya Ajmera once mentioned, “Detachment is not giving up the things in this world, but accepting the fact and to be continuously aware that nothing is permanent.” Change is required to make progress and reach goals in life and these changes requires us practice detachment so that we can be present in the moment. With that said, I am sharing how detachment can help us discover ourselves, why the root of all suffering is attachment, and why you should consider detachment from your ego.
Using Detachment for Self Discovery
In the past, before my brain injury, I placed my value, and self worth, symbols, such as cars, money, physique, etc., and let these motif’s define who I was. I shared my anecdote with you to entertain the idea that we should not attach the value of our life, or the lives of others, on inanimate objects, memories, or ego. Detaching the state of your life from from everything outside of your consciousness is essential because anything you place attachment to becomes responsible for your happiness. For example, if you are living a lifestyle, or you know somebody who is, leading a lifestyle where they feel like they have a certain image that they need to keep up of themselves, they are no longer living life, they are merely hustling to maintain an image, and it is all a façade. On the same note, if you have a guru or life coach, they assume responsibility for your life, you live as they say, and by doing so, you are no longer living your life either. This concept is important to grasp because many people spend so much time and money on guru’s, life coaches, and self-improvement seminars because they have made their happiness or success dependent on the attachment to a person, place, or thing. Dr. Wayne Dyer once mentioned, “You’ll come to find that anything you must have comes to own you.” Dyer continues to explain that personal acquisitions should enhance the quality of our lives and never burden us like a ball and chain. With that said, the more that you practice the art of detachment the more you can find joy and happiness in yourself. This is because there are only so many resources available to you for acquiring material growth, however, when you look within yourself, you can find unlimited potential.
The Root of Suffering
Buddha once said, “The root of suffering is attachment.” You should never become attached to your ego, opinions, or anything outside of your consciousness because the gateway to potential is within you. Additionally, as people we are supposed to evolve and if you cannot let go of the past, or practice detachment, then it will be impossible adapt to changing times or experience personal growth. Furthermore, failure to practice detachment has the potential to put your life on hold as you are refusing to let go of past and accept what is waiting for you ahead because you will no longer be vulnerable to life experiences that help develop and shape your character. “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” The reason why I mentioned this quote is because as I reflect back on the senseless shooing, when my car was ambushed, I was robbed at gunpoint, and shot in the head, finding the strength to overcome paraplegia had I not detached myself from the person I was so that I could put all of my focus and intent into my recovery. The process of learning how to read, write, count, living in a wheelchair, and needing assistance with everyday basic living tasks forced me to become detached from my ego. I do not expect what has worked for me to work for everybody, however, the death of my ego and being forced to be humble taught me a lot. With that said, ego is not what other people think about you, it is what you think about yourself, and in which case you should think nothing at all.
Detach From Your Ego
The ego speaks in I statements such as, “I want a BMW” or, “We bought a house and we did it all by ourselves!” The ego creates a shadow that casts over your authentic self which creates blind spots in your nature. The shadow is a part of yourself that you do not realize is there. This could be because your head is so far up your ass that you cannot recognize your own faults, social cues, or have an inflated sense of importance and self-worth. In other words, your shadow is the part of you that everybody see’s, except you. Your friends, family, colleagues, society at large see’s it and, it is also the reason why some people do not like you. With that said, the more we practice detachment from the ego, the greater chance we have of finding peace. joy, and happiness within ourselves. For example, when I came out of the coma paralyzed from the neck down, forty pounds underweight, and stripped naked, my ego was shattered and the only thing I had left was my consciousness. This was the greatest life changing moment for me because laying paralyzed in my hospital bed brought all of my short comings to the surface for the world to see and I became free from living in the shadow of my ego. Dr. Ben Kim said, “Where there is enough emotional strength to evaluate and recognize one’s shortcomings, I believe there is immense potential to experience personal growth…” When you have a big ego, and think you know everything, your capacity for growth is minimal because you become boastful or defensive about what you do know and examine less about what you do not know.
Coach Nolan is a life coach of motivation, not by regurgitating motivational quotes, abstract theories of motivation, or by dropping an ostentatious motivational phrases on you. Instead, Coach Nolan takes the stance of putting in work and let your results speak volumes. While it is wonderful that life coaches, wellness coaches, and anybody else who spews out motivational quotes, these motivational phrases are not enough to make a permanent positive impact on other people’s lives. If you seek motivational quotes, theories of motivation, and motivational phrases, that is great. However, if you are seeking motivational quotes, theory’s of motivation, and an inspirational life coach who is dedicated to delivering you real results is optimal. With that said, Coach Nolan delivers beyond what the typical life or wellness coach provides by yielding results that exceed your expectations. Motivation is crucial for any success in life and sometimes you need motivation to make that first step. With that said, I strongly urge you achieve motivation of a life time my taking a taking a course on motivation.
Motivation comes in the form of life coaches, in fact, the best life coach will give you motivation through motivational quotes, which are a collection on motivational words, and the best life coach will teach you personal motivation by telling you these motivational words, and motivational quotes, but being a living example of motivation as well.