Batman, Superman, and Spider-Man are all superheroes that everyday civilians look up to. These fictional characters inspire us to work harder, have courage, and they provide a sense of wonder and hope. One would think with the power to save the world from harm, and protect humankind from unnecessary evil, superheroes would not be insecure within their own skin. While laying in my dark hospital room alone, on Sunday, I began to feel very insecure about the unknown. Will I ever walk again? Will I ever have a sex life as a paraplegic? Will I date again? At this moment I had a cognition. There is a superhero in all of us, however, sometimes some of us put on a front, or put on a mask. As I realized this I began to talk myself through this moment of crisis. I said, “Do not be afraid to be your authentic self. Be honest with yourself, be open to possibilities, take your mask off, keep your cape on, and don’t be afraid to be something great.”
When I was in the coma I envisioned myself making a full recovery and this moment of spiritual realization taught me that you must always believe in yourself, even when others do not. In my recovery I could have the world’s best surgeons and doctors, however at the end of the day, the only person with my inner voice, drive, and vision to a full recovery is myself. With that said, when my therapists came into my hospital room, looked down at me and told me that I would never walk again, or feed myself, I realized that there comes a time in everybody’s life when you have to be your own superhero. Charles R. Swindoll once said, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” In any adverse situation you have two options, prepare to suffer, or, prepare to overcome the challenge in front of you.
Now That You Are Caught Up…
Epictetus said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”
After being robbed randomly at gunpoint, brains blown out of my skull, and waking up paralyzed, I tuned in with the two things that I had left, my thoughts and how I chose to react to them. I came to peace that I had little control over this violent individual intersecting my life and that I was the one in control of my attitude in which I responded to my unfortunate circumstance. My acceptance allowed me to shift my focus from working against a negative force to creating a positive and beneficial midframe for myself. For example, coming out of the coma I was pressed with two thought options, which would dictate the trajectory of my recovery. The options were I could prepare to suffer, or prepare to heal. In choosing to heal I disconnected from my sources of anxiety and forged forward with a fearless approach in life. Robert Greene said, “A bold act can put people on their heels and eliminate obstacles.” In society we are socialized to conform to a status quo and appeal to authority. However, what happens if one travels beyond the walls of social norms and advocate for themselves? My unconventional approach to my recovery taught me to trust myself, embrace fearlessness, and be my own superhero.
Joseph Campbell said, “You got to know what play you’re in at any one moment. You’ve got to be able to separate your sense of yourself- your ego- from the self you show the rest of the world- your persona.” It is one thing if you do not trust other people, or, if they do not trust you, but, if you display to the world that you cannot trust yourself, then you lose control of your life. If you are not strong minded enough to guide your life, and trust the process, then you are weak enough to be used as a pawn by someone who had the confidence to chase a vision. Additionally, you cannot trust other people to know what you are capable of, in fact, you must allow your actions, commitment, and intent speak volumes through the aura of your persona if you wish to catapult forward in life. For example, when I was in my hospital bed, after I was shot in the head and paralyzed from the neck down, my medical team consisting of seven doctors came into my hospital room and tried to tell my two sisters, aunt, and I that my therapy plan was to get my wrist moving so I could operate a high powered wheelchair. I immediately looked at them in the eyes, pointed my forehead to the door, and yelled, “Get the fuck out!” Immediately after this scenario I transferred to a different hospital, a skilled nursing facility actually, and they wanted me to stand and practice walking right away. With that said, if I did not show the world my persona, or if I did not trust myself, then I would have surrendered my life and lost control of my fate.
Helen Keller once mentioned, “Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” You are going to run into danger no matter what path of life you are on so you might as well pursue the journey with the most significant value and outcome. Everything in life should be worth your while and if you spend your life living in fear, is it worth the burden and turmoil? On the contrary, you could choose to confront your fears, experience a personal transformation, and be prepared for a new beginning in life with a larger purpose. For example, when I was declared paralyzed from the neck down and I declined the high powered wheelchair, what is there to be afraid of? Being in a wheelchair scares me more than the hard work it takes to get out of it, I am going to be on a journey to recovery regardless, so might as well go for the outcome that I want. On that note only way to rise above the threshold of which I fell under it to take responsibility and rise above the fears that are holding me back from achieving the life that I want myself. Robert Greene once said, “Deep changes going on usually register as fear to those who do not know how to deal with them. You can be the first to exploit them for positive purposes.” With fear, comes opportunity for those who answer the call and cross the threshold into the unknown. With me for example, I wanted to cross into the unknown, away from my medical team because I had nothing to lose and everything to gain, the opportunity to walk again.
Be Your own Super Hero
The other day I told myself, “If you victimize yourself, you will never find the strength to rescue yourself.” One of the most valuable lessons that I learned early in my recovery is that when your back is against the wall, and the only option you have is to go through the gauntlet ahead of you, then you have to believe in yourself and move forward. On that note, if you do choose to be courageous and overcome the challenges ahead of you then you will attract people to your journey who will aid you in overcoming adverse circumstances along the way. With that said, if you need help, help yourself, people like to see this, and they will be more inclined to help you as a result. Almost everybody is aware that you cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves, however, when people see another individual struggling to better themselves it is almost human nature to help out. However, when nobody is around for assistance, you will be humbly reminded that you must engage yourself into the hero’s journey ahead of you and allow the transformation process to begin. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Everything worth having is also worth working for.” If you are not where you want to be in life you have to believe in yourself that you can make it happen because whatever it is that you desire to have in your life will not come without a fight. Additionally, wherever there is a fight there are people who are going to try holding you back. With that said, At the end of the day you are the only person who can be held accountable for the outcome of your life is you and you must believe in yourself to make the changes you want in your life without succumbing to the discouragement from your inner voice or disagreement of others.
motivation, or by dropping an ostentatious motivational phrases on you. Instead, Coach Nolan takes the stance of putting in work and let your results speak volumes. While it is wonderful that life coaches, wellness coaches, and anybody else who spews out motivational quotes, these motivational phrases are not enough to make a permanent positive impact on other people’s lives. If you seek motivational quotes, theories of motivation, and motivational phrases, that is great. However, if you are seeking motivational quotes, theory’s of motivation, and an inspirational life coach who is dedicated to delivering you real results is optimal. With that said, Coach Nolan delivers beyond what the typical life or wellness coach provides by yielding results that exceed your expectations. Motivation is crucial for any success in life and sometimes you need motivation to make that first step. With that said, I strongly urge you achieve motivation of a life time my taking a taking a course on motivation.
One thought on “Believe in Yourself”