One of my social media followers told me, “I never had confidence. My sister was a valedictorian of a top college, has a great job, a family, everything appears perfect for her. I just always compare myself to her and think that because she is doing so well in her life that I am inadequate in mine.” Everybody is on their own path in life and if you focus on, or follow, the journey that somebody else is on then you never discover your purpose, gifts, or opportunity to forge a path of your own. Additionally, you will never allow the self discovery process to happen until you let go of wishing for the life you had and accept the life that is waiting for you. For example, my father went to one of the top colleges in the United States and I spent a period of my life disappointed in myself for not pursuing his footsteps. At the end of the day, everybody’s life is different and even when it does not feel like it, you are always on a path. Joseph Campbell said, “Where there is a way or path, it is someone else’s path, you are not on your own path. If you follow someone else’s way, you are not going to realize your potential.” You cannot shame or question yourself just because other peoples lives are different than yours. Additionally, you cannot envy the lives of other individuals because you are on path of your own, and if you stay on it you will be led to places and things that will be unique to you. It can be human and often very normal to succumb to comparing yourself with others; wondering why those around you seem to have it all and get what they want in life. However, engaging in this type of social comparison robs you of precious time you can spend on what’s more important: Your own journey and your personal self-development.
Find Motivation to Break Free From the Viscous Cycle
Some people find themselves stuck in a cycle where they make attempts to stop this pattern of frequent (or constant)comparison, but then become quickly frustrated when they fall back into looking around them and looking outward at the lives and successes of others, rather than directing their attentiontowards themselves. The habit is hard to break, but there is a key strategy here that can help you end this constant comparison habit for good: It is to stop stopping yourself from doing it to begin with.
Focus on YOUR Personal Journey, Not Theirs
You see, it’s far more difficult to stop a bad habit or an impulse than it is to leave it alone and instead, work on adopting new, healthier, and more positive habits that will strengthen your belief in yourself. With time, these new and more positive habits will replace your tendency to compare yourself with others. You’ll be too busy with your own life and your personal successes. These new habits will help you accept yourself as you are, discover your strengths and positive qualities, and build upon these strengths to create your own goals and move forward in the direction of your personal journey.
Appreciate Yourself and Show Some Gratitude
An example of one of these positive habits includes gratitude. Expressing gratitude on a regular basis is critical for self-development. It must be done daily because, as is the case with acquiring any new habit, it takes approximately 30 days of practice for the new habit to become part of your everyday life. Gratitude is likely the biggest eye-opener for most people, as it helps you to look at and notice the many opportunities, gifts, and positive aspects of your life. When you can truly be grateful for your own life, you won’t bother thinking about what you do not have.
Acknowledge Your Talents, Potential, and Unique Gifts
Acknowledging your personal strengths is another strategy to replace the habit of social comparison, but it must be done very deliberately. When you spend a long period of time comparing yourself to others, you might find that it’s difficult to identify the traits that make you unique, the things you’re good at, andyour various strengths and assets. Identifying your strengths is a critical step in strengthening your belief in yourself and your abilities. This activity must be done daily by thinking about and writing down one personal strength in a journal, notebook, on your phone, or in any type of log that you can refer to later.
The process of accepting and loving yourself is the key to carving out your own path; your own journey of growth, learning, goal attainment, and success. Discover the source of true happiness through uncovering your life purpose.
Find the Motivation to Greet Life With Gratitude
“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” –Epictetus
When you focus on what you love about your life, your emotional brain fires up. Gratitude helps support mental, spiritual, and emotional health. Additionally, when an individual feels good mentally and spiritually they will be inclined to take care of themselves physically as well. With that said, many studies show that expressing gratitude helps healthy people stay healthy and reduces their feelings of depression and anxiety. Gratitude is like a stepping stone, when you focus on what you love about your life you will pursue a path of happiness fueled by gratitude.
Sasha Carreon, life coach, said, “When we’re thankful we experience a range of warm emotions like love contentment, security, calm, and happiness.” Holding onto these positive thought patterns promotes a positive outlook towards life. Additionally, when individuals express what they are thankful for negative thoughts are less likely to have an impact on them. With that said, here is an activity to greet your life with gratitude.
Discover Gratitude Exercise
Call a family member, or friend, and share with each other two things that you are thankful for.
Publicly declare, Facebook post, text, tell a a random stranger, whatever it takes to share something you feel lucky for in your life.
Express genuine respect towards someone who deserves more appreciation from you.
Focus on whatever it is that makes you feel lucky in life and think of every moment as a new beginning. This will train the brain to focus on the love and pleasant experiences in life.
Remember to Be Kind to Yourself
A central part of being kind to yourself is practicing self-care. Self-care is often left for the end of the day or procrastinated until the end of the week, month, or even longer. Eventually, your need for self-care, self-compassion, and being kind to yourself will become very evident if you put it off for this long. The state of your physical and emotional health depend on your dedication to disconnecting from work and other life demands and doing things you enjoy.
You Deserve Everything That You Desire
In order to fully commit to doing these activities, you must first acknowledge that you deserve this time that you set aside for yourself. You see, anyone can practice a new hobby or activity for the sake of adhering to self-development practices or because their therapist, life coach, or self-help book told them to do so, but to truly benefit from self-care and learn how to be kind to yourself, you must believe that you are worthy of self-love; that your wellbeing is of utmost importance. Many people do the motions when it comes to self-care, but deep down still feel guilty or like that leisure time is too self-indulgent. Sadly, we have been conditioned to think this way; that life is about pushing ourselves beyond the boundary of exhaustion and emotional burnout.
Replacing Guilt With Gratitude
Once you work on replacing these guilt feelings and thoughts of unworthiness with self-acceptance and developing a more positive view of yourself, your self-care practices and your journey towards showing greater kindness to yourself will take on a whole new meaning. Your hobbies and activities will energize you like never before, making your work life more fulfilling and making you more mindful as you tend to your daily life demands.
Find Gratitude by Letting go of Guilt
If you find that you are struggling with letting go of lingering guilt feelings or if you notice yourself nervously rushing through your self-care activities, try spending 5 minutes every day creating a few positive affirmations (or positive self-statements) related to your worthiness. You might not believe these statements at first, but you will find that with time, you will realize that you are creating intentions that your inner self needs in order to heal and to accept that you deserve to give yourself greater kindness. These statements should be uplifting words where you ‘talk to yourself’ with compassion and understanding. Consider what you think your innermost self needs to hear, as if you were trying to soothe someone who is sad or stressed after a long day. Create some empowering self-statements, too, as if you were encouraging someone that needs a little motivation to get through a rough time. This technique often works because we tend to know how to be kind to others more so than we know how to be kind to ourselves. However, you will intuitively develop self-statements that reflect what you need to hear; what your inner self needs to move past the guilt and the feelings of ‘not deserving’ self-care and progress towards a state of being where you place the highest value on your health, your balance, and your happiness.
Power of Positive Affirmations
Positive Psychology Program says, “The benefits of daily affirmations have been scientifically supported and can help a lot of people.” If you were surrounded by fifty people who constantly told you that you will succeed, you are worthy of anything and everything in life, and invested great belief in you then you will hold you will hold yourself accountable to succeed. By greeting life with gratitude you will become a person of light who is optimistic about finding doors where you once thought there were only walls. With that said, greet life and and everything in it with gratitude, positivity, and remember to focus on what you love about your life.
What is your opinion? Is having gratitude beneficial for your well-being?
Leave your opinions in the comment section below.
Coach Nolan is a life coach of motivation, not by regurgitating motivational quotes, abstract theories of motivation, or by dropping an ostentatious motivational phrases on you. Instead, Coach Nolan takes the stance of putting in work and let your results speak volumes. While it is wonderful that life coaches, wellness coaches, and anybody else who spews out motivational quotes, these motivational phrases are not enough to make a permanent positive impact on other people’s lives. If you seek motivational quotes, theories of motivation, and motivational phrases, that is great. However, if you are seeking motivational quotes, theory’s of motivation, and an inspirational life coach who is dedicated to delivering you real results is optimal. With that said, Coach Nolan delivers beyond what the typical life or wellness coach provides by yielding results that exceed your expectations. Moti/vation is crucial for any success in life and sometimes you need motivation to make that first step. With that said, I strongly urge you achieve motivation of a life time my taking a taking a course on motivation.
Motivation comes in the form of life coaches, in fact, the best life coach will give you motivation through motivational quotes, which are a collection on motivational words, and the best life coach will teach you personal motivation by telling you these motivational words, and motivational quotes, but being a living example of motivation as well.