Overcoming Fear of Loss


 

Today I was trying to stand using the parallel bars, and as I was attempting to find my balance my physical therapist said to me, “You must learn when to let go.”  In this moment I began to think about Sisyphus and the feeling of putting in so much effort to push a boulder uphill for the rest of eternity. Lately I have been feeling like I have been putting too much effort into the dynamics of my life, and that I would be better off letting that boulder run free.  For example, I had created a test blog so that I could learn how the blogging platform worked before creating my official project. I had no idea what I was doing however, I still managed to bring in thousands of visitors per day. This test site that I made became increasingly difficult for me to let go of because I had become attached to the hard work and effort that I put in.  Today I quickly realized that I was like Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a hill with no plans ahead of me. Mike Tyson said, “In order to arrive at that next chapter in life, you have to forget the chapter that came before you and focus on the chapter ahead of you.” I am not going to get anywhere in life by holding onto and focusing on old accomplishments. With that said, I am sharing why it is important: to practice detachment, to learn when to let go and return home after the journey of transformation.

Buddha said, “The root of suffering is attachment.”  You should never become attached to your ego, opinions, or anything outside of your consciousness.  Your consciousness is the gateway to all things possible, as it is the source of potential in its purest form.  You are supposed to be creative, constantly moving forward, and looking for change. When you become attached to something outside your spirit and consciousness, you can find comfort, and your potential to create life is put on hold.  For example, an individual might have great creativity and ambitious plans, but their life as they imagined it was put on hold due to a job they are attached to. The result is the loss of their pure potential and the associated negative feelings of suffering that comes with it.  Helen Keller said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” When an individual is in a cushy job they no longer experience the personal growth that they get when they are ambitious and hungry for success.  When an individual becomes comfortable with the way things are in life then it becomes difficult to let go and embark on a journey of transformation.  

Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “Once you become detached from things, they don’t own you any longer.”  When you learn to let go you are no longer controlled by anything, nothing owns you, and you get the ability to see the bigger picture and a fresh perspective of the situation you are dealing with.  Learning when to let go and trusting in yourself is a lesson that many people fail to learn, and, as a result, they fail to undergo the journey of transformation. Additionally, answering the call of the unknown and becoming detached from everything is the first step step toward transformation.  Steve Clifford said, “To commit to a new journey you have to let go. Attachment to past hopes causes procrastination and lost opportunity, become flexible with your boundaries.” Fighting to hold on only weakens your ability to recognize outlying opportunities. When you get a call to a new adventure that requires leaving a comfort zone, the fear of the unknown can be scary, however, to truly live, you must become flexible with boundaries and let go of the old and accept the new.  

An Australian aboriginal proverb says, “We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. We are here to observe, to learn, to grow, to love, and then we return home.”  Every hardship in life is a temporary challenge that is meant as an opportunity to grow, learn, and return to your home journey in an advanced state of being. Roy T. Bennett said, “Life is about accepting the challenges along the way, choosing to keep moving forward, and savoring the journey.”  Part of moving forward is knowing when to let go of a journey, whether it is from the past or present, and having the courage to embark on a new beginning. Additionally, progress is impossible without change and it is in the best interest of us all to accept the invitation to self development. With that said, when you resist letting go, you remain in conflict with your limitations.

 

 

 

 

You must learn when to let go.  Everything in life is temporary, including life itself.  One of the most painful emotions to feel is loss. Additionally, one of the biggest fears of human nature is the fear of loss.  When you become detached you are free as you are no longer tethered to anyone, or anything. There is only so much capacity in life and when you put detachment into practice you create space for new life offerings.

 

 

Read the rest in my book Power of Perspective II

coach nolan power of perspective

 

 

 

 

Look for Turning Points

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