Hellen Keller once said, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” Instead of creating violent scenarios, in an effort to force everybody else into submission to selfishly have their own needs met, lighting cars on fire inside the Oakland Mercedes dealership, Trump deporting illegal immigrants, protesters murdering innocent civilians, label a few examples, it is much more constructive to approach conflicts with a collaborative style. A collaborative communication style, I am a communications major by the way, is conflict resolution style that seeks win-win solutions in toxic scenarios. For example, when there is a group of people who want statues that are related to slavery removed, and there are other individuals who that structure to exist to preserve history, perhaps both groups should work together to have the structures moved to a historical museum where the monuments can be both appreciated by the segmented population who wanted the days of the past preserved for for future generations and still be out of the eyes of the eyes of those who are offended. Abigail Van Buren once said, “People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.” These people who destroyed their cities, and the lives of others, now have to live amidst the destruction that they caused. Additionally, the people of the government now carry the burden of cleaning the streets of America, when in theory, all of this could have been avoided if the people of America and the government listed to each other, collaborated, and attempted to create win-win scenarios. On that note, I am sharing with you empathy and the two types of self-fulfilling prophecies in hopes that this information can help you in your life as it did in mine.
Ronald Alder said, Looking out looking in, “Empathy involves feeling and experiencing another person’s situation, almost as they do. This ability is so important that some researches have labeled empathy the most important aspect of communication competence.” I think the failure, or refusal, to cooperate with people who have different attitudes, values, beliefs, and physiological needs is negatively affecting our society at large. If society does not have the attitude of acknowledging the needs, beliefs, or values of the parties involved then there will be tension and chaos, instead of cooperation. For example, look at the state of politics in the United States at the moment. We have two parties and instead of cooperating with each other, and attempting to understand each other by putting ourselves in their opponents shoes, we are getting friction, tension, and further away from understanding each other. With that said, communication has the power to bring people together and improve the quality of life for most, if not all. Many arguments, and disagreements are a result of misunderstandings, acts of unintentional communication, or lack of empathy and if people were educated, and aware of this, then we would have overall improved relationships as a result of effective communication.
Your self-concept does not only determine how or what you think about yourself, however, your self-evaluation is so powerful that it can actually influence and shape your future, this is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. A self-fulfilling prophecy is a phenomena that occurs when an expectation is initially enforced, and then reassured by external forces, which provides confidence to surpass the given expectation. For example, if someone was born and raised in a household where everybody was getting straight A’s, there would be an expectation for academic achievement for the said individual. This high expectation, which was set by his/her environment, influences the individual to behave in such ways that guarantees the success of fulfilling what is expected of them, the person is then encouraged, reassured, and their capabilities are reinforced throughout the grading period, and when the grades come out the expectations are met. With that said, similarly to how academic courses change, we become what we choose to believe the most and as our lives change, we must also change our self-concepts.
Types of Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
There are two types of self-fulfilling prophecies, self-imposed prophecies, explained above, and a prophecy that is imposed by one person to another. There was an experiment done in a classroom setting where children’s names were randomly drawn to choose which students were gifted, and had the most potential for the highest IQ. The teachers were then given the list of names that were drawn from the hat, not knowing that the names were randomly generated. As a result, the teachers imposed higher expectations on the ‘gifted’ students and treated them accordingly. In fact, this self-fulfilling prophecy experiment was conducted across a board of several academic institutions and professions, and yielded astonishing results. According to Alder, “In one study, a group of welders with relatively equal aptitudes began training. Everyone, including the trainer, was told that five of the welders on an aptitude test, even though they were chosen randomly. All five finished at the top of the class.” With that said, it is important to do more than believe to create a self-fulfilling prophecy for an intended target, you must communicate that belief to yield your intended results.
Nolan McDonnell of motivation, not by regurgitating motivational quotes, abstract theories of motivation, or by dropping an ostentatious motivational phrases on you. Instead, Coach Nolan takes the stance of putting in work and let your results speak volumes. While it is wonderful that life coaches, wellness coaches, and anybody else who spews out motivational quotes, these motivational phrases are not enough to make a permanent positive impact on other people’s lives. If you seek motivational quotes, theories of motivation, and motivational phrases, that is great. However, if you are seeking motivational quotes, theory’s of motivation, and an inspirational life coach who is dedicated to delivering you real results is optimal. With that said, NOLAN MCDONNELL delivers beyond what the typical life or wellness coach provides by yielding results that exceed your expectations. Motivation is crucial for any success in life and sometimes you need motivation to make that first step. With that said, I strongly urge you achieve motivation of a life time my taking a taking a course on motivation.