This Was a Bad Santa

 “Excuse me, we have a 7:45 appointment to see Santa, where is the line?

It should have been a red flag that we had to make an appointment for my niece and nephew to get a photo with Santa at the mall.  

But it’s completely understandable.

 This jolly, old, cookie-snacking, milk-guzzling fat ass is busy flying around the world delivering presents.  In addition to making all the toys for all the tots around the world, he is expected to be at every mall in the country as well.

 I COMPLETELY understand why appointments have to be made to see this miserable prick.


Nolan McDonnell

But listen Santa, just because you get away with uttering “Ho, ho ho” around your ratchet ass wife, every day of the year, does not give you the right to disrespect the dozens of kids like you did in the mall last night.

I was sitting in the appointment line to see jolly man when I heard a guy yell, “Fuck you Santa!”  The crowd wasn’t the only people that were mad, apparently, Santa was upset set as well.

Jolly Old Saint Nick got up, began to shout obscenities at everyone in line, and started professing his frustration about how he was supposed to be off the clock an hour ago.

Santa Claus was in a terrible mood last night, and it seemed like he was going to get fired.

He began shouting that “he was packing up his s*** and leaving” as he was arguing aggressively with the camera guy. At this point, everybody got out of line, which pushed me up to the very front.

At this point, everybody got out of line, which pushed me up to the very front.

My little nephew, Eli, ran over to me ecstatic yelling, “Yay, were the next ones up!”  Santa sat there in protest, adamant about not taking anybody to sit on his lap, and my mom was not leaving without a picture with him.

A girl pulled out her iPhone and said, “Do you want me to take a picture of all of you with him? He hasn’t left yet let’s go up there really fast and take a picture with my phone and I’ll send you the picture.

Santa tried to be a Grinch, and steal the magic of Christmas from the little ones, however,  my mom, my niece, nephew, and the stranger just met all rushed Santa and photobombed a photo with him.

Nolan McDonnell

My mom grabbed both my niece and nephew, tossed them on his lap, and finally, Ole’ Nicky gave in saying, “All right, hurry the hell up.”  We captured our impromptu picture and got the hell out of there. 

This was a bad Santa.

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