I Urinated in My Shorts


Bowling in the SJSU student union

Steph Curry said, “This is where ego was laid to rest and humility rose in its place but, my mind, is where every challenge was either won or lost.”  Having no ego allows individuals to accept failure and grow from them without concern of outside opinions.  Being self conscious about others beliefs towards me will get in the way between me and my progress.  By having no ego I am free to do what is best for myself, without being a prisoner of other peoples feelings or outward appearance towards me.  For example, the other day I was in the mall and I asked a complete stranger if they would mind pushing me a little.  With that said, I received assistance, a stranger made a new friend, and my fatigued arms had a chance to rest.  Les Brown said, “Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality.” At my age I should be capable of propelling myself in my wheelchair however, does this opinion mean that I can?  Punishing myself to satisfy the opinions of others, or my own ego is meaningless.  With that said, I am sharing a scenario of when I was about to urinate in class, when I asked a stranger to cut open a water bottle for me, and then I proceeded to urinate in my shorts.

My mother dropped me off at my college campus and said, “I will be back soon, I have to take the dog to get groomed.”  I started school to reintegrate into society again after being hospitalized for six months.  I wanted to learn how to be independent and become more self reliant.  While I was in class, I took the opportunity to learn for myself to become self sufficient.  I always believed that being thrown out in the wild, and learning from first hand experience, was the best way for me to learn.  However, I was not ready for what was going to happen next. My phone notification went off saying, “This is a reminder, Nolan, the 1 o’clock pill party has arrived, get poppin.”  My phone has a fun way of reminding me to take my double dose of muscle relaxers however, I failed to remember that the side effects of the medication I double downed on was frequent urination.  Having no urinal, having no mother to rely on, and being forced into independence, was the challenge I had been waiting for.  As pressure was building on my bladder, and having poor mobilization in my wheelchair, I began formulating my plan to leave class and relieve myself.

I stole her water bottle

In class I saw a fellow students water bottle and I said to myself, “If I have to, I will have to steal that water bottle, somehow propel myself to the restroom, and pee into that container.”  At this time, I did not know the route to the restroom and my bladder began to feel like a stretched out water balloon ready to explode.  I stole a students water bottle, asked the professor where the restroom was, and struggled to wheel myself out of class.  When I rolled into the hallway, a man who saw me struggling asked, “Can I help you?”  I quickly replied, “I would appreciate a push to the bathroom.”  The man told me that he was going to use the restroom as well and no problem pushing me there.  On our way to the toilets my new friend attempted to make conversation with me however,  I was about to pee my shorts and I could not reciprocate any dialogue.  My bladder could feel every bump, stone and crack in the smooth paved hallways.  I saw the restrooms up ahead and expressed my gratitude towards my new friend as we parted ways into separate stalls.

My beloved urinal

“Excuse me, can you please help me?”  Stealing somebody’s bottled water to pee into sounded like a great idea however, I could not pee into the small bottle opening.  Adding to that, I was in such a rush to avoid pissing my pants that I fumbled the water bottle, emptying the contents on my lap.  As the empty water bottle hit the floor my bathroom buddy asked, “do you need help with anything?” At this point it felt as if I was holding back the raging forces of Niagara Falls.  The floodgates were about to burst and I exclaimed, “Hurry, run this water bottle to the nearest classroom, borrow scissors, cut the top off and bring the bottle back here, please.”  I had this poor guy completely enrolled in my life’s problems.  He was pushing me in my wheelchair, making me a makeshift urinal,  and he even gave me his business card and said to call the number in case of an emergency.  I was sitting in my wheelchair, bent over, holding my crotch thinking that I was going to pee my pants, and I might as well have.  I am about to explode in urine all over my wheelchair and the bathroom floor when my bathroom buddy runs in, “Hey, are you alright? Here you go, do you need help?”  The man had cut the top off the water bottle and gave me the short end of the plastic container,  so I knew I was screwed.  I told the stranger to leave knowing I would have to go back to class with a wet lap drenched in urine with my wheelchair leaving a trail.  I wet my pants.

I told myself, “Get it all out while you are here in the bathroom.”  My wheelchair was now placed over a puddle on the floor.  Sitting in my urine soaked wheelchair, my soaked shorts and socks, I was faced with two options,  go back to class or stay out in the hallway and wait for my mother.  I went over to the paper towel dispenser and began my best attempt of drying myself off and then proceeded back to class.  As I was struggling to make any distance in my wheelchair, there was a group of cute girls who saw my soaked lap and urine trail who yelled, “Aww this will only make you stronger.”  At this point I did not even care anymore, not about others ego’s, opinions, or attitudes.  With that said, I went back to class completely soaked in urine and when the professor asked if I made it to the restroom I said…  Of course I did.


Back to Starting College Again



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