At the end of the day, when things go south, do you know who has your back? Do you know who will be there for you, no matter what the circumstances are?
As a result of unfortunate situations, you often see people show their true colors. This can be due to a variety of reasons – financial concerns, self well-being, mental factors, how the person is raised, mentality, and things like personal life goals, achievements, and other elements.
Depending on these, every person can vary when it comes down to who has your back or not. The problem is, most people don’t.
To separate the real from the fake and to determine who genuinely cares for you in their life, it may be well worth your while to perform a test in which you can judge the reaction from that particular individual. That way, there’s nothing or no one else to prove if they truly would defend you besides them. This is their moment to prove themselves as a loyal friend or family member.
What Do You Do?
To see it from the correct perspective, you need to think of life as like a sport. For this case, think of it like football.
In football, you have the cheerleaders, and you have the players. The cheerleaders – what do they do? They are the ones who are all talk (no disrespect to actual cheerleaders here).
They cheer you on and offer you help with whatever you need, but when it really comes down to it, at the end of the day, they are just that – cheerleaders. They don’t put any work into the game.
The players, on the other hand, they do less cheering and more doing, making strategic and passionate moves to win.
If you were ever in the hospital battling a chronic disease, the people who truly cared for you would be there. Maybe that person you spent your whole life talking to about relationships, school, and whatever else doesn’t actually show up.
At that moment, that person is the cheerleader of the situation. However, what if the role was a little different? What if, instead, you weren’t lying in the hospital bed, but were walking on stage representing a billion-dollar company?
You can guarantee many people would show up for that, claiming that they know you and trying to gain a financial advantage with you.
That person who didn’t visit you in the hospital would instead be attending the event, trying to show others that they know you, and then attempting to make contact outside of the event because you are better than them. Not just financially, but more intelligently and ethically in the working world.
They want that feeling of success like you achieved because they are jealous. They’re not going to be jealous of you on your deathbed – and these types of people, the ones that are so self-centered and ignorant of other people’s emotions or health, will never be the ones to have your back.
How It Helps
Seeing it from this perspective really switches something inside of people’s heads. It makes them realize how many people in their lives actually cared for them – emotionally and respectfully.
How does it help, exactly? Well, when you make this revelation, it becomes much easier to know who to trust and who to count on in life.
You know you can never depend on the cheerleaders – those who are just in it for the cheer, the talk, and the appearance of doing something right when in reality, they don’t feel like they have any moral obligations to you. Even if they consider themselves or you consider them your “friend” or “family.”
But you can always count on those who have been there for you, no matter what the circumstances were. Whether you were lying on your deathbed or presenting yourself at a conference, they are there for you, offering their support, guidance, motivation, and genuine advice.
When you find these people in your life, they are worth keeping. These people are so rare to come across, it can be difficult to know the difference between who is worth having around or not.
To test your theory on whether or not the people in your life will have your back, you would have to fall under the circumstances where they don’t want to put themselves in a vulnerable position.
There’s a brilliant analogy by Tyler Perry that talks about how the people in our lives are like a tree, which can be described somewhat similarly to the sports reference I made.
There are the leaves, branches, and the roots.
People Who Leave Immediately
It says that the people who are like “leaves” on a tree leave, just as leaves fall from a tree.
They are in your life only temporarily, and while they start off as an amazing relationship in the beginning, you quickly come to realize that they are actually taking more than they are willing to give.
They offer very little support, help, and guidance – especially through tough times – just as a leaf does through difficult seasons where they fall away during Winter and become brittle during Autumn.
These people were never the type that would become permanent relationships in your life. When matters became tough in your life, they were easily blown away, never to offer their concern.
People You “Think” You Can Depend On
The branches are those who make you believe that you can count on them for anything.
These people tell you how much they will be there for you, but when it comes down to it, they can’t bear the circumstances. The branches can’t carry the weight, and they break off when things get tough, much like the leaves.
While these branches serve a purpose for some time in life, they don’t last either. They eventually break off and disconnect.
People Who You Can Count On
The people who are like the roots of a tree are permanent. They go through absolutely everything with you.
When they break or fall apart, they only regenerate again and come back stronger. It’s an everlasting bond that can truly never be broken.
They provide you with everything you need from them – attention, love, care, guidance, support, advice – anything. They will be there for you, no matter what.
They become the foundation upon which you live when all else fails in your life. And, because many people in life don’t have these relationships, they become their own roots.
But the big takeaway from this is that once the leaves have blown away, the branches have broken off, the roots remain strong – always.
It’s critical to remember that relationships you lose in your life shouldn’t always be considered a significant loss – because many of these people have served their purpose in your life, as the leaves and branches of your tree. They were never meant to stay.
When you learn to let go of these people in your life who were holding you back or pulling you down only to be the one on top, you can begin to realize the need for discarding the old and bringing forth new, more valuable people.
People who let you grow as a human being and become a positive influence in your life will only help bring you up rather than down.
Once you make this revelation, you open yourself up to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships, and will ultimately achieve a happy life worth flourishing in, just like a tree.